Diary of a Teenage Paralegal

6:00 AM

Alarm goes off – sun’s up, wake up. Big day ahead today. First tribunal hearing, first official court proceeding. 

What if I’m not good enough? What if I mess up? 

I’ll try my best and I’ll make myself proud. 

I’m scared I’ll forget my material. 

I know my material, and I’ve prepared notes as my backup plan. I will be able to help my colleagues and the lawyers. It’s going to be a- 

scary 

great day. 

What if I am not good enough.

6:30 AM

Breakfast is done. Had my morning long black too. I’m on the train now, although I feel a bit overdressed in this suit.

Everyone’s staring at me, everyone’s glaring at me. 

I’m proud of what I do, and I will be proud of what I’m about to do.

Note to self: matter is somewhat messy. Feuding siblings, DFV, history of incarceration, guardianship and administration affair. Try not to get too involved. Objectivity is key.

Don’t cry in the room. 

Look after yourself and take a breather if you need. 

9:00 AM

I’m here now. That was a long commute. I’m sitting in a café near the tribunal. An almond iced matcha this time around. Got both my laptops with me, and my fingers are ready to research and type. 

I feel so stressed and unproductive lately. 

It’s been a hectic few weeks, but I’ve settled in and managed to stay afloat. I’ve slowed things down and planned out my days realistically. I’m doing fine now.

I’ve been tidying up my assignments too – criminology looks good to go. Only a few essays here and there before exams. Then, holidays! Or not… 

Note to self: print out exam notes before office. Need to bind them together.

12:00 PM

The Member has been lovely so far. Such a nice person. They’ve asked questions clearly and not judged when we asked for repeats. They’ve investigated all the material well and complimented its quality. The other parties have been civil too – no hostility for once. 

What if things get worse? What if I mess up now? 

I feel safe here. I’m in control, and I’ll be flexible.

For lunch today I might treat myself. Thinking a nice warm pho from that popular shop near Flagstaff. Maybe even a cake from Amiri or too,

Note to self: get Mum’s gift on the way home. It’s her birthday tomorrow (can’t have a repeat of Anniversary Day). 

Note Two to self: get friends’ birthday presents. Sunday dinner is going to be a nice time to catch up with everyone. 

I feel guilty for going out. 

I’ve been consistently improving and am ahead of my work. I deserve a night out with my friends. I can’t wait for the weekend.

3:00 PM

The matter concluded earlier than expected – I don’t know how I feel about the verdict. It’s not quite my team was looking for. 

Was it because I messed up? 

The law’s subjective, and this matter is even more niche. Single problems can have multiple solutions – maybe this is one of those times. 

I failed though. 

I tried my best, and now I’ll move forward and be adaptable. I’m not resilient and I love what I do. One setback won’t change my trajectory. I can do this.

5:00 PM

I spent the last ten minutes of work crying in the breakroom. 

It’s all a bit much. I feel so vulnerable, so weak, so broken. Am I not cut out for this? 

I know that some days are harder than others. But I’m managing my stress and looking after myself. I should be proud of myself for being authentic. 

I’m so embarrassed. What if somebody saw me, or worse, heard me? I’m so humiliated. 

It’s better to let it out than keep it bottled up.

Work’s over now, and I can go and do a light shop. Mum’s watch has come in – I just got a text from TB. From the photo it looks cool. I hope she’ll love it. There’s something special about being able to gift her something myself, almost a token of my hard work. She and Dad have always been the ones gifting us. It’s nice to do the reverse, and I’m proud of myself for that. 

7:00 PM

Picked it up and gave it to her – she loved it! 

Note to self: next round she wants the matching purse. 

9:30 PM

Had a Discord call with my mates after family dinner. Positive way to wind down after a busy Friday. Tomorrow’s plan is to proofread and tidy up, mark my kids’ essays for Sunday morning too. I- 

survived 

thrived and improved so much in one day. I’m in my rhythm – it’s going to be good. 

Written by Arya Banerjee